Category Archives: for me

UP FROM GROUND

so my artwork has been selected

for an exhibit in Los Angeles

titled UP FROM GROUND.

it will be held on May 8th

at a vintage warehouse gallery

called La Founderie. amped.


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new site

new site ► snowtone.org

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an interesting take on healthcare

a complete media compendium

001 ► personal beliefs

002 ► hawaii

003 ► the apparent trap

004 ► pregame

005 ► the summit

006 ► senator interview

007 ► new gov idea

bonus ► from last dec, highway to health

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not black or white. or gray. color.

the past few months, i have been quiet. marginal.  listening and watching.
i have been looking for hope.  love that breathes.  a world that isn’t black or white or gray, but color.
i am beginning my Mix.
my scene. interp. midrash. explanation. perception. yoke. way.
parsing reality, arranging the universe.
i draw on the walls.
and if you are going to trust me about the depths of reality,
i need to know what i’m talking about.
trusted with not just a few things, but with many things.
psychology, sociology, anthropology, technology, media, film, music, economics, geology, astronomy, physics, culture.
transparent, legit, no showtime switch.
never diva, never poser, never pretentious.
not out to win a popularity contest,
with nothing to prove,
knowing who i am and why.
my job is to pull from the world and ‘make of it something more.’
what i have read. what i have studied.
i started a me map, tracing experiences and mistakes,
what i’ve learned and what i still need to learn.

my Mix  starts with five elements. they are a beginning, not an end.

ONE ► I’M WRONG

i am a learner, student, novice.
there are many things i don’t know or understand.
i will encounter new things.
i will have to let go of some of the things i thought were true
in order to grab hold of these new things.
humility. perpetual imperfection.
never leaving the wide-eyed wonder of discovery.

TWO ► HUMANITY

i do not consider myself a Christian. i do not consider myself religious.
i consider myself a pastor. and a disciple.
i have a worldview.
and a rabbi.
religions always begin, even today, when spirituality is hijacked as a control.
and it’s not surprising that many religions
have grasped different aspects of the human story.
i trust that our world is good, and headed somewhere better,
that the story of humanity is a dance that hums with the heartbeat of the universe,
embracing original Eden wherever it can be found.
i believe that i have a role in the story.
and so do you.

THREE ► HEALING

i have learned that in a room of any size, there is great pain just under the surface.
i believe that the world needs healing.
individually.
systemically.
completely.
sometimes we need soft words,
words that remind us that there is no need to compete or compare,
no need to be thinner, faster, smarter,
words that create a space to breathe.
other times, we need a kick in the throat stiletto-heel style.
we need to be asked difficult questions,
and we need people who expect us to find the answers.
we need to be pushed,
and reminded that we don’t exist just to be loved, but to spread the love.
the dialectic tension between pastor and prophet.
sometimes we bring the thunder.
sometimes we bring the rain.

FOUR ► KEEP IT CLASSY

this idea has had many names over the centuries. honor, chivalry, nobility.
not birthright or classism, defined by one’s actions.
a way to interact with the world in mutual respect, and gravity of soul.
a peace that is wider than circumstances, and deeper than emotions.
family argument?
keep it classy.
breaking up?
be classy.
public humiliation? false accusation?
divorce?
keep it classy. honorable.
living love.
if you have a heartbeat, a pulse, a brainwave, it’s the right time to love.
at no time, in no place, with no person
is it ever appropriate to toggle off the love button.
with others,
and with yourself.

FIVE ► MIXED DRINKS

this only works with all of us.
you have knowledge and wisdom that we need.
your experiences can teach us, shape us, and drive us forward.
the human family is unnecessarily dysfunctional at the moment.
and while there will always be a level of conflict, disagreement,
and needed resolution,
there is a difference between healthy tension + alternative perspectives,
and a nuclear wasteland of soul trashing.
we crave unity, and we don’t have it.
the diversity of humans is infinite,
and therefore styles, preferences, and opinions will always be infinite.
we are one body, but can we walk as one body?
because right now we’re not walking, we’re sort of having an epileptic seizure,
spasming while attempting self-mutilation,
trying to chop off the parts that we don’t like,
or that don’t look how we think they should.
we can fix that, we can make peace in our Self and coordinate our movements,
and thoughts,
and connections.
and when we finally get the walking thing down, then we can try running.
and maybe eventually leaping.
and twirling.
and discoing.
what if instead of fixating on all the ways that we are different,
we focused on all of the ways that we are the same?

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with the wild things, wherever they are

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Attending a screening of Where The Wild Things Are tonight at the Arclight in Hollywood.
Eggers and Spike Jonze will be there.  Amped.

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shatter test

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something like a headrush

lampgirl6

Competition usually helps. It focuses evolution, buffering unoriginality and imitation, allowing us to create at a level worthy of the world’s attention. Open, honest criticism forces us out of mediocrity and into a global, magnetic web of collaborative art and vision and invention.

But competition can also nuke your soul. Since arriving at Fuller, I’ve noticed a quiet selfishness growing the in cracks, lacing words and smiles with hints of ego. Not a Princeton level of cutthroat, but subtle and selfish, thousands of micro-comparisons every moment. Envy. Factoring “personal success” into “changing the world.”

Which, unfortunately, keeps it unchanged, and eventually becomes intellectual rape and pillage, night-sticking friends and family the back of the knees just to jump past them on the social success ladder.

Because we aren’t really a materialistic society, are we? We don’t really want “things” as much as we want the social rewards that those things offer. We want “this” because we think it will change how others see us.  And if I have “that,” then “they” will include me, or “he” will respect me, or “she” will love me. But eventually, we begin to realize that it doesn’t work, and that it isn’t really a ladder at all. It’s a flow. A shifting swarm of collisions and interactions every moment. And that we’re all in this together. Your successes are my successes. And my successes are your successes. Almost like we’re one body. And that low self-esteem isn’t linked to failure, but rejection.

There is always a gap between how we want our lives to be and how they are.

“Life balance” is bollux, no one can be a rockstar at everything. Pouring into certain things causes other things to suffer. And it takes a while to stop wishing we were someone else.

It’s interesting that jealousy doesn’t explode at distant superstars. We envy our closest friends. The more like us they are, the deeper the resentment.

Until we understand that creativity is far too big to define as “better” or “worse.” ”Higher” or “lower.” And that success and failure are two sides of the same LP. What if we embraced both?

What if we fueled each other like a well-oiled machine, letting the “better” in others fill our own shallows? What if working with someone “farther on the journey” wasn’t a slam to identity, but seen as a gift? An opportunity to leap forward. The married friend. The published roommate. The celebrity sister. A new, radioactive fabric of innovation that creates it’s own feedback loop, building on itself through a churning torrent of creative collusion.

Identity and individuality are important, of course, but personal work could be better, farther, original. Competition redirected from undercutting and outshining, channeled into cooperative collaboration. Something that amps us. And explores us. Something like a headrush.

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